Poor Simon.
You see, Simon is a Styrofoam fish and he's had a hard life (that is why he always frowns).
Simon started out life as an actor in Toronto. He had a good run of gigs there for awhile, mostly small theatre stuff, but always with good reviews.
But then one day he was passed over for a major part as a member of the banquet dinner in Disney's The Little Mermaid (and there was a huge cast for that, lots of jobs). It was a devastating blow for poor Simon. He got depressed. He ate nothing but burritos for three weeks. He started drinking and got into the booze pretty heavily. He stopped going for his beloved daily swim. He started showing up late for his jobs (which meant he had to bring donuts for the cast every day). His missed lines and cues. Bumped into the other actors. Once he fell off the stage. Things were looking pretty grim for Simon.
Then there was that incident with the hotdog clowns in Kensington Market. I won't go into that. If you were there, you know. If not, trust me, you don't want to know. All you need to know is that Simon had to leave town for awhile. His theatrical mentor, FeenAAHH, decided that it would be best to send him out to the west coast (hippie land) for awhile. Relax. Cool his heels. You know, get his shit together...
To be continued...
(next time on the Saga of Simon we encounter the deadly kitchen jellyfish)
