- Women's Freestyle Ski (moguls)- You need to ski straight(??) down and over the moguls instead of back and forth across them to win.
- Men's Freestyle Ski (moguls)- Athletes put duct tape on the knees of their pants so that judges can get a better look at the "absorption".
- Women's 3000 m Speed Skating- Women can be pretty "pushy" (hahahahaha)
- Men's Snowboard Cross- You can be HAD like INCHES from the finish line. FUCK!!
- Women's Snowboard Cross- Canada is only owning a few podiums (this being one of them).
- Women's short track speed skating- Wang Meng is really really super fast. Marianne St-Gelais is super super cute when she wins anything.
- Men's 500 m Speed Skating-With sports wear like that it is impossible to hide your package.
- Women's Biathalon 7.5 k sprint-This is such a weird sport. That's all I learned.
- Men's Half Pipe Snowboarding-Shaun White is DISGUSTING!!!
- Women's Downhill Ski-OUCHY!!! Remind me to never ski that fast.
- Women's Curling-I am more interested in listening to women repeatedly scream "HARD".
- Pairs Figure Skating Long Program-You can win simply by not falling down. Who knew?
- Men's Figure Skating Short Program- Confirmation that Jonny Weir definitely wears a lot of makeup (but he sure is cute).
- Men's Figure Skating Free program- Make sure that the laces on your skates are in good condition. It might cost you a spot on the podium.
- Men's Super-G (skiing)- You have to cross the finish line with at least three pieces of your equipment (so, two poles & one ski, OR two skis & one pole)
- Men's Halfpipe-If your up against Shaun White you might as well just pack up now and go home.
- Women's 3000m relay team pursuit-Don't count your gold till the ref's say it's yours.
- Men's Curling-you can be a gold winning Olympian when your in your late 40's.
- Men's 50K Cross Country-When a guy comes in 5th and is only 1.6 seconds behind the gold winner you should really leave him alone until after he has a good long cry.
- Men's Hockey- Canada OWNS!!!
What does all this really prove?
That I watched WAY to much of the Olympics!!
...and now that it is over, I can get on with my life.
